A Shy Girl’s Guide to Surviving Parties

I’m not going to sugarcoat it: parties horrify me. Introverts are social people too, but only for a limited time. Since they find happiness in spending time alone or with a group of people they’ve known for years, continuous social events deplete their metaphorical batteries.

I am often asked by my mom and our helper, “How can you manage to stay at home for a long time?” This question baffles me. I commonly respond, “But how can you guys go out every single day?” Social gatherings are inevitable and here’s how you can survive parties without abhorring them.

Assume a role at the party
I like helping out whenever a friend throws a party. Having a sense of purpose not only distracts you, but also helps you get acclimated to the party. You can help set the table, distribute the tokens, or my go-to task – take photos of the event.

Be present in your own introverted style
If you’re more of an introvert, it’s likely that you’re great in listening and asking insightful questions. Instead of dreading the things you might say, just be attentive. Keep in mind that one of the great gifts you can offer someone is to hear them out.

Have a pre-party ritual
Take some time for yourself before heading out for a day of socializing. Prior to attending something, I feel anxious to the point of regretting why I agreed to go. This is where pre-party calming techniques come in. Read a book, watch an episode of your favorite series, take a long bath, or do whatever it is that soothes your already panicking thoughts. 

Consider bringing an extrovert wingman
If it’s an affair that allows you to bring guests, you may walk in with a wingman. Small talk can be a torture for introverts, but if you are accompanied by someone who can break the ice and who can fill up “dead air,” then there’s nothing to worry.

Be clad in something you’re comfortable in
Socializing is already tough for you. Don’t make it more complicated by wearing a short flimsy dress that you always have to pull down or a pair of unstable heels that can leave you crippled anytime. This reminds me that I better start looking for a party-ready cocktail dress for a night out with my girls! I rarely party at night, that’s why my friends know that when I ask them for a night out, it’s something serious. Haha. As introverts, it should be our goal to walk into a party feeling as charged and as confident as possible.

Give yourself time to recharge
If you have to leave the party early so that you may unwind, do so. Don’t feel guilty about it. It’s better to leave early than to fake your enjoyment when you’re already feeling overwhelmed by the festivity. You can also go to washroom quickly or head outside for some fresh air.

Parties can be daunting but take a deep breath and get out there from time to time. If you have more party tips for shy people, I would love to hear them. :)